Being a mom challenged me in the past few months. It could have been easier baby-mom time, if I wasn’t moving and building a home (ground up!), working every here’n’there AND helping my mom out, who had broke her arm. Long drama short – you manage (somehow)! You get stronger, quicker, stressed, pissed and in the end you break. Though this might sound like a big time drama and very negative intro (trust me it was) I want to share the bright side of a breakdown with you. (negativity stays only within this intro)

The probably best thing about a personal meltdown is the catharsic one. After the break, usually followed with some very emotional upsetting discussions with your loved ones, you feel like a newborn. Though my eyes have blurred from all the crying, I promise you – your mind sharpens with every second after your break. It is like your body is cracking down and at the same time a certain light comes out of your cracks. (I know I watched way to many Sci-Fi movies) You shine a light and everything is becoming crystal clear. All of your fears – gone. What stays are millions of questions mostly starting with WHY and luckily even more answers. A jungle of answers is waiting for you, all you have to do is to sort these out. Be prepared for some shockingly simple facts, which disturbed your life majorly. Ironic but true.

Fear has a way of feeling disproportionally more substantial than the threat that triggered it in the first place.

When your illumination finally chills down, your cracks are ready to suck up whatever comes your way. One more positive point: You find in everything signs and proofs about that new sharpness of yours. It is like getting the chance to start completely new. The bigger the breakdown, the better the start! Have you seen the movie Limitless? Well it is like taking that pill from the movie. (if you didn’t saw it, you have to!) I am not kidding. The most precious truth though finds me through the eyes of my daughter. She sharpens me in the best way possible and she got me kinda more efficient. This efficiency hack – well I wouldn’t buy this from me neither while reading this lines but some very smart people got the proof: THE ULTIMATE EFFICIENCY HACK (have kids) I have no internet evidence for my breakdown catharsis theory but I have the experience.

That being said here finally some concrete suggestions what got me going these days and things in which I found strength, beauty and CHInspirations.

READ:

It is kinda what I am doing here – making myself vulnerable while showing some of my most intimate moments in life. A must read 100 intimate moments.

21 perfect german words we need in english. A very fine selection! Couldn’t agree more…

Childrens Books 🙂 one that could be interesting for you: The Wonder Weeks by Hetty van de Rijt, Ph.D.

LISTENED:
Solange – A Seat at the Table Her Styling is just everything in her music video Cranes in the Sky, the lyrics are even better and suitable as you build yourself up.

Frank Ocean – the new Album Blonde is in my ear ever since publishing. Favorite Track: pink n white! Even my babygirl adores it. Note – not singing my babygirl childrens songs, but songs I actually like and listen a lot. Her most favorite one is Ordinary People by John Legend.

WATCHED:

How to get away with murder – it strangled me totally. I know Season 3 of HTGAWM is currently streaming, but I am tied to season one. Viola Davis is just exceptional!

Big Eyes – Hard to believe it’s Tim Burton Movie, but it really is. Womenpower here as well – Amy Adams is so vulnerable and her acting carried the whole movie. The crazy sadistic Waltz created as always a fantastic sick character. The whole movie is about setting yourself free and speak up for yourself, so it helped me a lot.

While We’re Young – Such a great movie about generation distance, ethics, growing up. I find this movie chinspiring on so many levels. One of them being: the old folks are the new youngs and vice versa. It did well in my breakdown phase and I got some positive answers out of it.